Lighter Side

Exercising would be much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burned them.

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

I didn’t fall, the floor just needed a hug.

A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between five and six. He seemed irritated when I answered ‘kindergarten’.

They say money talks, but mine just waves good bye.

When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Children: You spend the first three years of their life teaching them to walk and talk, then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.

I was told...