Sometimes I like to be alone with my thoughts doing absolutely nothing. It’s not that I’m antisocial, I’m just pro-me.
Do not take life too seriously … you will never get out of it alive.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough so my wife knows I’m not dead.
If I had ten chocolate chip cookies, and you took half of them, do you know what you’d have? That’s right, a black eye and broken fingers.
Life is hard … but it’s a lot harder if you’re stupid.
If Cinderella’s glass slipper fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
I get paid to be nice at work. I’m not sure why my family and friends th...
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