The Lighter Side

I found a way to break my dog from begging at the table – I brought home hospital food.

My doctor told me they were going to run some tests ... to see how my insurance reacts.

I got my new prescription medicine from the pharmacy today. They warned me that I might experience irritability and pain in the hands and wrist – but that was just from trying to get the childproof cap off.

I actually like going into the hospital. I think I'll order some Ketamine for my appetizer, then ask the doctor what opiate he recommends for my entrée.

They arrested me for indecent exposure at the hospital. How was...