Preacher's Piece

A friend of mine bought his wife a world map and gave her a dart and said, throw this, and wherever it lands - that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends. It turns out that they will be spending two weeks behind the fridge.

This past Tuesday I had a toothache so I went to the dentist. I said: “I think I have an abscessed tooth.”

He took x rays and said: “You gave yourself a proper diagnosis, you’re going to need a root canal.”

I said: “Thank you. I’ve been diagnosing my own illnesses for years. It’s nice to finally get one right.”

I wanted him to do it right then and there because I f...