We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
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I realize that I usually tend to look at some rather “unorthodox” topics in this column, but my Mother had always asked that I stop with the bathroom humor and prove to everyone that the education my parents paid for actually did some good. So, in her honor, I think maybe it’s time we look into some deep and philosophical issues regarding the human condition. Do you think that in ‘Hamlet,’ Shakespeare was exploring existentialism and projecting his own concerns about his role in the universe...
Recently I was reading a story about a man in his 20’s who asked one of his elder mentors: “What would you say to your 30-year-old self if you could talk to him?” The first thing that popped into his head was: “It will all work out, just not the way you expect.” He went on to say: “Honestly, I’m not sure the younger me would pay much attention to the older me.” He then added this bit of wisdom: “The key to success in life is how well you adapt to Plan B. Actually, the real key is how well you ad...
Editor; I am not sure how to approach this subject as it is polarizing our community, state and nation (and even the world) as we speak. COVID has been the hot topic of conversation for going on two years. You hear how many people have been diagnosed, hospitalized or died from the disease and what the positivity rates are for each county in the region. We hear multitudes of people telling us the only way to get back to "normal" is to mask up and for heaven's sake GET VACCINATED!! However, no one is talking about the people who had the virus...
OK ladies, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Actually, it’s not so little, but while every male in the world will agree with me – women to this day think we are “silly” or joking with them. We’re not. There is one routine activity that men hate almost more than a root canal or getting a colonoscopy. No, it does not typically include physical pain, but the aggravation we men have to endure when suffering through this ritual has gotten to the point where we will avoid it like the plague...
Here we are back in full swing again. Fall sports are back on and the summer heat did not miss a beat. While Dan does a great job with the fall sports edition, I have a few observations of my own. Last week I got stung by a mob of angry bees. I estimate a few dozen bites. It’s been an itchy week ever since. I had no side effects except one night about four days after the encounter, I woke up shaking badly with the chills. I’m not a doctor, but I’m guessing that was my body’s way of fightin...
Let us get one thing straight – I am not gay. Growing up as a theater kid who played basketball, I heard all of the comments, and members of my basketball team never did know what to make of seeing me on stage wearing makeup, but … nope. My eye has always been captured by the female of the species. When I went to New York and tried my hand at the professional stage, it was a rather rude awakening. A guy saying, “You want to go get a beer?” wasn’t always intended as just – ‘getting a beer.’ So, I...
He knew everything, but that’s all he knew. I kind of left you hanging on the house we were working on in anticipation of members of our family moving in. I’m happy to say, they are all moved in. The house had a total inside makeover and is the happy home of their little family. I took it upon myself to find a little history on the previous owners. What I discovered was that the owner before them, was born in the house. He and his wife had four children. She was the girl next door and they end...
There is a Gremlin in our house. Ever since the girls left for college, it hasn’t been hard placing blame when lights in the house are left on, or doors left open, or certain food items you wee saving in the refrigerator to eat later suddenly went missing. Or at least that’s what we thought at first. It was amazing how much money my wife and I saved on water bills, electricity, and the need to buy paper towels and toilet paper. So even though we had massive tuition bills to pay coming from Mad...
Gov. JB Pritzker continued his go-it-alone approach to governing the state this week by announcing new mask and vaccination mandates — changes to Illinois’ COVID-19 mitigation plan that were made without any input from state or local officials. Also this week, several Republican lawmakers called for immediate action on energy reform legislation that will keep the state’s nuclear fleet online. The Governor signed legislation during the week that opponents say does nothing to fix a burde...
As the leader of the free world, I marvel that he was elected. I firmly believe that many who voted for him, simply hated "The Orange Man", Donald Trump, so much that somehow, Joe was elected. I have never feared more for our great country. In a short six months America has turned upside down. Our southern border is certainly a humanitarian disaster, caused directly by this administration. An administration that promised transparency and is giving us anything but. A large part of the reason we...
The great thing about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. The other night as I lay in bed, I woke up because I was thirsty. I laid there for a while thinking about how thirsty I was and how satisfying a tall, cold glass of water would be. I also thought back on the activities I’d done and what I had eaten that day that would make me so thirsty. I came to two conclusions. 1) I had just worked harder and sweated more than I could ever r...
No man who is married and has daughters can ever have too big of an ego … they simply won’t allow it. When they were little, I can still remember the girls and my wife talking about how they could play pin the nose on the pumpkin using my belly when I was dressed in an orange Freeport soccer flannel one day. But the worst was one night when I was sitting on the couch watching television and Caitlin began poking my belly and commented, “Wow, you poke it here and it jiggles all the way over there...
Governor Pritzker announced new COVID mitigations this week, due in part to the spread of the “Delta variant”. New mitigations will include masking in schools. Without a doubt, the COVID-19 virus continues to infect Illinoisans while policies aimed at addressing the spread continue to divide Illinoisans like few other issues in our modern era. The coronavirus is serious, especially for the unvaccinated, and common-sense steps should be taken by those at increased risk of transmission or inf...
Every time we go to church we pass by a herd of red and black angus cattle grazing contentedly in their pasture. These cows are in tip top shape. Their shining red and black coats glisten in the sun. When we had an angus herd when I was a kid, my dad mixed linseed oil in with their feed, which brought a beautiful shine to their hides. That shine is a sign of good health. It’s fun to observe the neighbor’s cattle as we drive by. As winter gives way to spring the cows drop calves and they gro...
So have you been watching the Olympics? I have truly enjoyed watching when I could, but have also been frustrated by the coverage schedule. Specifically, I wish the medias wouldn’t spoil the outcome of some events by telling you what happened before they air it. I mean, I just finished watching the USA Women’s Volleyball team squeak out a win over Turkey, when they went back to the studio. Later that night, the Women’s All Around Gymnastics final would be held, but the woman in the studio went a...
Editor; For All Americans: Our country was founded on faith in God. Some of our founders said the following: John Adams: Our constitution was made for a moral and religious people. Ben Franklin: The truth is that God governs in the affairs of men to perform the duties of good citizens. George Washington: Be a good citizen and soldier; we must reflect and be more distinguished Christian. James Madison: The future of America is not the power of the government. We must govern ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God. Thomas Jefferson:...
Illinois school districts have regained some local control over COVID-19 protocols within their districts. In other news, three administrators at the Choate Mental Health and Developmental Center in southern Illinois face misconduct charges for allegedly interfering with an investigation into patient abuse. Meanwhile, Illinois is set to receive nearly $800 million from a major opioid settlement. Also this week, it was revealed that the Illinois Department of Employment Security has lost nearly...
We have 35 million laws to enforce the Ten Commandments. In my younger years, boating was always a major part of my summer life. I had an uncle who had a boat and he took my family to the lake a few times every summer to go water skiing. When I was a teenager, my uncle sold us the boat. Six of us went in together and came up with the $800 asking price. It was a 17 foot boat with a 75 horse Johnson outboard. In high school, trips to the lake were fun with my friends in that old Johnson outboard....
OK, for the record – vacation was great – and a much needed diversion. But with that being said, it’s time to get back into the swing of things – and at this time of year, that means Fall sports. So fair warning, this is not a humor column – it’s a chance to try and sort out the mass of activity in High School sports we completed, while also looking at what lies ahead. Volleyball summer league is in full swing at Lena-Winslow, they’ve got softball leagues going in Freeport, and the word from...
I LOVE a good County Fair! Nothing screams Summer in the Heartland more than this nostalgic American pastime. Northwest Illinois values will again be on full display through the tractor pulls, the demolition derbies, the hometown enjoyment of musical acts and displays of local excellence in desserts, fruits and vegetables and livestock and show animals. The subtle aroma of manure covered by the overpowering smell of deep-fried delights. The lights of carnival rides reflecting in the eyes of...
I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Don't buy it. As you may or may not be aware, our son recently graduated from Veterinary School and took a job in Stockton, Illinois as a Veterinarian. His preference is large animals - specifically dairy. It just so happens, dairy farmers run deep in our family. My grandpa was a dairy farmer, as was my dad, and three of my brothers. I was a dairy farmer for about 41 years of my life, dating back to my youth. Our son grew up on our dairy farm and was...
With Dan away for a much needed “vacation” we are running one of our all-time favorites – enjoy. “And you wonder why I don’t worry about the butter.” Now, that phrase may not mean much to you, but in my house it has become a simple comment that sums up the marriage my wife and I enjoy. You see, on most things, I am really pretty easy-going. I just don’t get too riled up over the daily trials and tribulations we see on a regular basis. “My car won’t start!” “Go ahead and use mine.” “The dog i...
A recent poll conducted by Issues & Insights and Tippinsights found that 64% of young people age 18-24 are NOT proud to be an American. Young adults (18-24) were the age group least likely to say they were proud to be an American, the poll found, with increasing rates of American pride in each age bracket, up to 86% of adults over age 65 being proud to be an American. Included in this at-risk age groups are many of our active-duty military, the next generations of community leaders, and many...
I have a couple things on my mind today. 1) I belong to an Internet shave club. It’s simple: every month they automatically send me four sets of razor blades to shave with. I never run out of blades. I never have to try to figure out which brand to use or where to buy them from. It started out costing me one dollar a month. Of course, the one dollar thing didn’t last very long. Within a few months it was up to four bucks and then six. But it’s still a good deal. A few years ago the mecha...
At first, I was really thinking that I could make this whole camping thing work. I mean, buying a load of wood for $20 seemed excessive, but my wife swore I got a good deal, and after seeing the amount of wood people got for putting $7 into the automated machine … I agreed. But when you are a large man, with diabetes, who tends to drink a lot of Diet Coke, there is always one huge underlying issue you need to always be aware of … let’s talk bathrooms! I already knew, before our little campi...
