We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
Sorted by date Results 401 - 425 of 518
My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not. I've made it from the bed to the couch ... there's no stopping me now! Yesterday I wore something from five years ago and is actually fit! I am so proud of myself ... It was a scarf, but still. Let's be positive here. I love all mythical creatures ... Vampires, Werewolves, Unicorns and kids who listen. I haven't eve gone to bed yet, and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. The next time you get a call from an unknown number, answer it by saying...
I just thought of a cool practical joke ... go out and buy a Dollar Store skeleton for Halloween and bury it in a shallow grave under your new deck. In about 30 years it will really be funny when the new owner of your house digs it up when he's rebuilding your deck. Losing weight doesn't seem to be working so from now on I'm going to concentrate on getting taller. Of course kids are going crazy! Their teacher now drinks, swears, can smack their butt and they can't complain to anybody because...
Every other small town festival in Northwest Illinois had been canceled, so it was almost a sign of hope that Warren is going to still hold their annual Pumpkinfest celebration this coming weekend in Warren. But the excitement over having the event has been tapered by rumors that the Jo Daviess County Health Department has cancelled some of the events – which prompted us to find out if there was any truth behind the rumors. "We didn't cancel anything," said Jo Daviess County Health A...
A fundraiser has been scheduled for the newly reorganized McConnell American Legion Auxiliary. They will be having a bake sale on Saturday, Sept. 26 from 9 am - noon at the McConnell Legion. This Auxiliary has been idle for about ten years and they are now trying to bring it back and reactivate it, but need some financial assistance to make that possible....
The Momentum Art Guild will be exhibiting works from their member artists at the Stephenson County Visitor Center from September 18-November 13. The visitor center is located at 4596 US Highway 20 east of Freeport and is open to the public 9 am to 5 pm Monday-Saturday and Sunday noon to 5 pm. Viewing the exhibit is free to all residents and visitors. Artists displayed in the exhibit include Ellen Bartels, Phyllis Bergagna, Roger Goodspeed, Jane Goodspeed, Faye Hughes, Larry McCoy, Nanette Mosher, Sheila Welch, Eleanor Wells, Frances Shriver,...
I'm going to call my Mom and ask if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table. Whatever you must do today ... Do it with the confidence of a four year old wearing a Batman cape! When I dunk my cookies in milk I think of you ... then hold them under until the bubbles stop. In the future, when my grandkids ask me about 2020 when the world was tragically out of toilet paper ... I plan to tell them that we had to drag our butts across the grass ... uphill ... both directions ... in the snow! What really sucks now is that Corona is...
The Lena Lucky Ducks Relay for Life team and the Stephenson County Relay for Life teams are celebrating with a virtual/auction 32 prior to a memorial YOU TUBE of cancer survivors/deceased. We have luminarias for sale at $10.00 each and bags will be prepared, set up and photos taken. You can purchase a luminaria from Barb Wire (815-757-4267) or Sue Diddens (815-821-3524). You may also donate items such as gift cards, baskets, certificates or monetary donations for the Stephenson County Relay for Life. Photos will be taken of each item, value...
Harmony United Methodist Men will be hosting their 3rd annual Pig Roast Benefit on September 12, 2020. 100% of the proceeds will be split between the Family of Kyle Griffin and the Senior Resource Center. The Benefit will take place at Harmony UMC, 2600 W. Pearl City Rd. Freeport, Illinois. The cost is $10.00 per plate. Food will be served from 3:30-6:00 PM using Drive thru service. To order tickets in advance call the church office at 815-233-0057....
Stephenson County Fairground is one of 11 finalists in Grinnell Mutual’s Fairground Facelift initiative. They were chosen from among 53 submissions across 13 states. With votes from community members, Stephenson County Fairground’s project could receive a grant of up to $3,000 to help make it happen. Their project “ADA-Compliant Wheelchair Ramp” will replace the warped, faded wheelchair ramp and entrance door with a long-lasting, ADA compliant ramp so that all fairground visitors can access the office. You can help Stephenson County Fairgroun...
What if this quarantine is just the aliens fattening us up before the big harvest? If you see me talking to myself this week – don't worry – I'm having a parent/teacher conference. I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell, then Purelled my hands because I touched the Clorox cannister ... How far down a rabbit hole does this go? The officer said, "Your staggering." I answered, "You're quite handsome yourself." We just laughed and laughed ... I need bail money. When I yell at my dog to stop barking, I wonder if he's thinking, "This is awesome! We'...
The 2020 Pearl City Boulevard Bash scheduled for August 22nd was cancelled due to the unforeseen circumstances of the COVID-19 pandemic. Each year the profits from the event go to local charitable causes. With no in-person Bash in 2020, we are inviting donations to keep making our contributions. An anonymous donor has come forward and is challenging Pearl City residents to help the Bash by offering to match all individual donations up to a total of $2000. Your $10 donation turns into a $20 donation. $20 becomes $40. $50 is now $100. This...
First it was "alcohol kills Covid." Then "Heat may kill Covid." Now "Direct sunlight may kill Covid." So if you see me outside in my yard drunk, naked and lying in the sun, mind your own business! I'm conducting important medical experiments. Whoever said one person cannot change the world never ate an undercooked bat. I promised myself I'd do something different today. So I'm sitting at the other end of the couch. I can't wait for all of this to be over so I can go back to social distancing on my own terms. I'm not saying this pandemic has...
I have a rational fear of spiders. In know they're smaller than me, but so is a hand grenade. My body has absorbed so much soap and water, hand sanitizer and disinfectant that now when I pee I clean the toilet. I swear we're fighting two pandemics: Coronavirus and Stupidity. I kinda like wearing my mask in public. Now I can talk to myself in peace. The whole world has turned into Las Vegas! Everyone's losing money, it's acceptable to drink at all hours and nobody has any idea what day it is. I'm sending all of my thoughts and prayers to all of...
As a way to thank the incredible number of local donors who continually support the Freeport Art Museum during these unprecedented times, FAM is delighted to announce the new exhibition, Selections from the Collections-a must-see exhibition of select objects from FAM's extensive collections, some of which have never been on display. It would require a visit to a much larger institution to experience similar pieces to FAM's permanent collection, which spans across centuries and continents. The...
High School football will not take place until after Christmas, and many of the college teams are pushing their games back and cancelling non-conference battles. But ... as of this writing ... the NFL is still "all systems go" for the 2020 season. With that in mind, Village Voices – and specifically the Voice Awards which has a 501C3 number to make this all legal – will be holding an NFL team auction at Woodbine Bend on August 31st. With the cancellation of last year's NCAA Tournament, the The...
Day 7 of quarantine: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He's a web designer. You know, all these people who said we should shut down everything because of climate change are probably the same people protesting on the steps of the state capital screaming at the government to open up the bars. I'm so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a photo of anything. A side effect of the quarantine is that it's really hard to end phone calls. Twice today I almost said, "OK, I have to run," before realizing the...
Timber Lake Playhouse (TLP), the professional summer theatre of northwest Illinois, announced its 13th Annual GALA will be held on Saturday, August 29, 2020. This year, for the first time in the GALA’s 13 year history, due to COVID gathering restrictions, the GALA will be held virtually. “I’ll admit, after last year’s highly successful GALA, I was skeptical about holding this year’s (GALA) online,” said TLP Board President and GALA Committee Chairperson, Robin Saar. “However, the way that this virtual event is shaping up, it’s going to be a g...
Sometimes I like to be alone with my thoughts doing absolutely nothing. It's not that I'm antisocial, I'm just pro-me. Do not take life too seriously ... you will never get out of it alive. My goal this weekend is to move just enough so my wife knows I'm not dead. If I had ten chocolate chip cookies, and you took half of them, do you know what you'd have? That's right, a black eye and broken fingers. Life is hard ... but it's a lot harder if you're stupid. If Cinderella's glass slipper fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? I get paid to be...
If anyone needs a ride to 2021, I'm leaving tomorrow. The next time a stranger talks to you when you're alone, just look at them shocked and whisper, "You can see me?" Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the "M" is silent. I don't understand why they are having so many delays in testing. The whole country would be tested by midnight if Chick-fil-A was running the drive thru test centers. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's just your common sense leaving your body. People say nothing is...
The Lincoln-Douglas Society of Freeport and Looking for Lincoln are proud to announce it will host "Lincoln, the Great Communicator" online specifically for a Freeport audience on July 15 at 7 pm. Tune in to Facebook on the Lincoln-Douglas Society page to watch the event. The live, online performance will combine period music with conversation and narrative by President Lincoln using Lincoln's own words while illuminating Lincoln's use of communication as a personal and political tool. This...
Due to the ongoing risks and uncertainties related to the COVID-19 pandemic, the 15th Annual Market House Square Art Festival scheduled for August 8 and 9 is now canceled. Artists and organizers have worked hard in preparation for this popular event, so the decision was not made lightly. The health and safety of artists, food vendors, musicians, and 1000’s of attendees is our top priority. We apologize sincerely for any inconvenience this may cause and look forward to welcoming people next year to the Old Market House State Historic Site in G...
Timber Lake Playhouse (TLP), the premier professional summer theatre of northwest Illinois, announces the cancellation of the 2020 season due to COVID-19 complications. All TLP performances will be cancelled until 2021. “Next week, we would have celebrated the World Premiere of What a Wonderful World.” said Dan Danielowski, Executive Director of TLP. “To have to make this decision is very disappointing to all of us.” With the governor’s Phase 4 Guidelines to Reopen Illinois, TLP would have been limited to only fifty patrons per show. “Not only...
Remember kids: Don't play with fireworks. Let the adults who have been drinking all day set them off. Nothing says, "Let's celebrate America" quite like drinking beer and playing with explosives. You know Stevens, if our Founding Fathers had spent a little more time around you, they would have probably rethought the whole "Freedom of Speech" thing. Just a reminder, fireworks look even more amazing when you're not constantly checking your cellphone. The 5th of July: The day when all of the Facebook addicts upload identical pictures of their loca...
St. John's Lutheran Church will hold the July Community Grace Meal on Sunday, July 19 at 11:30 am -12:30 pm. The menu will be hot ham and cheese sandwiches, Calico Beans, coleslaw and cookies. The Grace Meal will be curbside pick-up only with all meals ordered no later than Friday, July 17 at 5 pm. Please call St. John's at 815-443-2215 to reserve your meals or email at [email protected]. St. John's is located at 229 S First St., Pearl City, IL 61062....
I wonder if clouds ever look down at us and say, "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot." Why is it after I push "one" for English, I still can't understand the person on the other end? Girls who say "A lot of guys are after me," should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers. I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or are living it to the fullest. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you are an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes. Sometimes I forg...
