We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
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Gratiot Community Park will be the site of a Bluegrass Gospel Concert on Friday August 13th at 7:30pm. The concert is hosted by the Evangelical Free Church of Gratiot. In case of rain, the event will be held at the Gratiot Community Center. Featured performers will be BLUEGRASS EXPRESS. There is no charge for this event and the public is invited to attend. BLUEGRASS EXPRESS was formed in 1980 by the father-son team of Gary and Greg Underwood and has performed extensively ever since, from...
Oh, so you're a Chicago Bear fan! Please, tell me more about 1985. Green Bay Packer fans are furious after a controversial call in last night's game robbed the Packers of a victory. Some are calling it the worst call in NFL history, since the Black Eyed Peas were invited to play the Super Bowl. Apple is inventing a new Mike Tyson computer – it has two bytes and no memory. And with the 7th pick in this year's NFL draft, the Chicago Bears select ... another losing season. The definition of true loyalty? ... ask a Detroit Lion fan. What do you c...
Want to learn a new skill, refresh your techniques or just have fun with friends? Join an ARC adult art class (or two or three). The Galena ARC is offering a variety of adult music, painting, cooking, sewing and pottery classes this Fall. Have you always wished you could play piano but think it is too late? Think again! Come join the ARC’s Recreational Music Making (RMM) class in piano. Susan Lipnick will be teaching this beginner’s 8-week class in the ARC Music Studio starting Wednesday, August 25, 9-9:45am. RMM classes provide a sup...
After settling for remote zoom performances last year due to the pandemic, there'll once again be live music in the in that pastoral valley about eight miles South of Stockton, Illinois. The Willow Folk Festival returns August 14 - 15. In addition to drawing top amateur and professional acoustic talent in the area to the Willow UM Church grounds, the fest draws scores of musicians from Chicago, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Michigan. Many of them camp in the nearby cow pasture and enjoy impromptu jam...
At this point, I would feel safer if the Coronavirus held a press conference to tell us how it's going to save us from the government. Sitting here in quarantine I stop and think about all of the goods time when I wasn't in quarantine but still never left my house. I could tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you'd have to wait two weeks to see if you got it. My refrigerator just groaned, rolled its' eyes and hissed at me ... "Not you again!" I miss the days when you sneezed and people would be polite and say "Bless you." Now, if I sneeze they...
Plans for the Eagle Nature Foundation's 60th Celebration to be held on Sept. 11, 2021 are being finalized. ENF will be celebrating the life and accomplishments of Terrence N. Ingram and those organizations, which he has created and led over 60 years, to protect the bald eagle and its habitat. This includes the Southwestern Wisconsin Audubon Club, Eagle Valley Environmentalists, The Eagle Foundation, and presently, the Eagle Nature Foundation. The daytime activities will be held at the Crossroads...
Camping – where you spend a small fortune in order to live like a homeless person. What do bears call campers in sleeping bags ... soft tacos. My wife says that camping is a family tradition. I told her, "Yes, it was a tradition in every family until they invented the house." I slept like a dog last night ... I woke up on the campfire. Camping is the only vacation where you work harder preparing meals and caring for your living space then you do when inside your own house. First rule of camping ... Set up the camp before you start drinking. C...
Bring the whole family to the Jo Daviess Conservation Foundation's Casper Bluff Land & Water Reserve to learn how to build a survival shelter. This program will discuss how to safely explore the great outdoors and prevent yourself from ending up in a survival situation. We will then learn the basics of building a shelter with all families getting a chance to construct one of their own. The program will conclude with a 'tour of homes' to see how everyone did. Another option during the Family Day...
The pandemic may not officially be "over" but we are allowed back out, and events that were cancelled last year are finally beginning to return. So, in the interest of helping people go out and resume the life we once knew, we assembled what we could find to make up a calendar of events for what is left of the summer ... we count Fall Festival as officially the end of summer, so that's where our calendar ends. July 8 - Thurs - Rise N Shine Breakfast – 524 W. Stephenson St – 7:30–8:30 am - Melis...
I hate mosquitoes just like everyone. But I love the fact that their presence allows me to slap anyone, at any time, for no reason at all. "Wow, my first flight was great dad," the young mosquito told his father. "Everyone was clapping for me." The definition of a golden opportunity: When a mosquito lands on your spouse's cheek! I once had a pet centipede that I trained to fetch me things, but it always took so long waiting for him to put on his shoes. What's that mosquito doing staring at the stain on the wall? Oh, he's just visiting his fathe...
Timber Lake Playhouse (TLP), the premier professional summer theatre of northwest Illinois, continues its 60th Anniversary Season with The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. A riotous ride, complete with audience participation, Spelling Bee is a delightful den of comedic genius. An eclectic group of six mid-pubescents vie for the spelling championship of a lifetime. While candidly disclosing hilarious and touching stories from their home lives, the tweens spell their way through a series...
TimBeck2 Productions (also known as Tim and Becky Connors) is delighted to announce our production of Schoolhouse Rock Live at the Krape Park Bandshell, July 16 & 17, at 7 p.m. Tickets (at $8 each) will go on sale June 28 at www.fsd145.org/tickets. “Conjunction Junction, What’s Your Function?” If you remember those animated videos like “I’m Just a Bill,” “Three Is a Magic Number,” and “Interjections!” from Saturday morning television, then you will love this lively musical. The series of entertaining and educational cartoons originally...
Remember kids, don't play with fireworks ... let the adults who have been drinking all day set them off. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off. "I don't know why my firework party was a complete disaster," Johnny said. "They all worked just fine yesterday." Fireworks! Because who really needs all ten fingers? Firecrackers are too dangerous dear. We'll celebrate the Fourth by making our own firecrackers. We'll put spicy jalapeno and cayenne...
Every time I go to the public pool, I feel like I'm marinating in pee and Band-aids. Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. So, I gave him a glass of water. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the lake swimming contest. The brunette came in first, the redhead was second, but the blonde took forever to reach the shore. Finally, when she arrived, tired and exhausted and...
Looking for something to do before the fireworks start? The Apple River Fort State Historic Site will be hosting a patriotic picnic on Sunday, July 4th from noon until 2 pm. Visitors are encouraged to bring a lunch-or grab takeout from their favorite restaurant-and have a picnic on the lawn by the Fort. Fort living history volunteers will present a dramatic reading of the Declaration of Independence, toasts, and other speeches. Visitors may muster into Captain Stone's militia, with one lucky...
It's been so hot this June, everybody's common sense about what to keep covered has totally evaporated. A heat wave? In the summer? But that NEVER happens! Except every year. At this exact time, since forever. Summer heat is proof that Mother Nature is Menopausal. I'm pretty sure the heat index today is somewhere between boob sweat and Satan's anus. This heat wave is brutal! Not only is it hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, but you can use your mailbox as a toaster oven. It's summer time, but of course you'd never know it with all the...
Yes, it was late in the season, and four of the seven cast members had already graduated, but EPC was able to "shift" their productions around to put on a really nice production of Schoolhouse Rock last weekend. And I, for one, am thankful for it. EPC is blessed with a ton of truly talented kids – and many of them never got to put on their final performance when everything got cancelled last year. But thankfully, Mikayla Milam, Torey Leverton, Miranda Mellentine and Makayla Ruttman – who hav...
I'm going to change my Facebook name to "Benefits". Now when someone adds me as a friend it will say "You are now friends with Benefits." Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital. Privacy Settings 101: If it's on Facebook ... it's NOT private. May changing your Facebook relationship status as an April Fool's joke not cause the end of your relationship. I was feeling really down because of the economy, my job, my wife leaving me, and my dog dying ... it was so bad I called the Suicide...
The Lena Sons of the American Legion, Squadron 577, in conjunction with the Iron Horse Tap in Lena, is continuing to run a progressive Queen of Hearts Raffle to benefit various veterans causes in Lena and Northwest Illinois. As of this writing, after 19 cards have been drawn, the Queen remains in hiding and the jackpot has increased to over $7500.00. Tickets are 6 for $5.00 and can be purchased at the Iron Horse Tap in Lena at 137 West Railroad Street during normal business hours or at the Lena American Legion Hall at 316 West Main Street in...
Why do some couples make their status "single" every time they fight? I don't put "orphan" when I get into fights with my parents. Teenager: Treated like children, but expected to act like adults. I wonder if Chinese tourists get angry when they buy a souvenir from America, only to find out it was made in China. Teenager: Someone who is ready for the zombie apocalypse, but not for the math test tomorrow. I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I'm still at school. Teenager: I'm a smart person, I just do stupid things. I...
The EPC Drama Department is so excited to once again invite patrons back into our "theatre" as our small but mighty cast of characters brings the Emmy Award-winning 1970s Saturday morning cartoon series and pop culture sensation Schoolhouse Rock Live! to life in person and streaming online! Schoolhouse Rock Live! follows Tom, a nerve-wracked school teacher who is nervous about his first day of teaching. He tries to relax by watching TV, when various characters representing facets of his...
Show me a person who hasn't ever eaten the BBQ chicken dinner provided by the Stockton Lions Club every Fourth of July, and I'll show you someone who doesn't live in Northwest Illinois. Now, after having to cancel everything last year due to Covid, the region's biggest Fourth of July celebration will be back this year – complete with all of the craft booths, non-profit food vendors, and of course the firework celebration which is scheduled to begin at dusk. This will mark the 59th year of the L...
The Stephenson County Fair Association (SCFA) is excited to announce the 2021 Stephenson County Fair will go on. Dates for the fair are Tuesday, July 27 through Saturday, July 31. Of course, that is barring any more setbacks with the pandemic and the Governor reversing the decision to enter the "Bridge Phase" on May 14. We hope that phase will allow us to move into Phase 5 as early as June 11. The SCFA board, staff, and volunteers have been working hard to plan a great fair this year. C.D.A.C. A...
To all of this year's graduates ... congratulations. Even a global pandemic couldn't stop you! High School is like a free trial on education. Once you graduate, they say, "Now, if you want to continue, pay $50,000." Educated people are hot ... because they have more degrees. I went through 12 years of school just to get a square hat to put on my round head? Dear Graduates: You have spent a lot of money to go to college. Soon, the alumni association hopes you will pay a lot more money to have GONE to college. How many college graduates does it...
The Highland Community College theatre department announces its 2021-22 theatre season by producing two Pulitzer Prize-winning plays: “Our Town” on Oct. 7, 8, and 9; and “Sweat” on March 10, 11, and 12, 2022. Both productions are performed by Highland students on the Fine Arts Theatre stage in the Ferguson Fine Arts Center, 2998 W. Pearl City Rd., Freeport, Ill. “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder begins with the simple aspects of the lives of the residents of the mythical small town of Grover’s Corners and ends asking profound questions. “O...
