We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks
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The January winners are announced in the Northwest Illinois Daily (a cooperative fundraiser). The Daily Drawing is a drawing for 365 daily cash prizes from October 1, 2021 – September 30, 2022, to those donating for a ticket. Over $21,000 is paid out to ticket holders during the drawing year. Cash prizes vary between $50 and $250. A ticket may win multiple times as each ticket remains in the drawing each day for the entire year, no matter how often it may be drawn. Sponsoring organizations from Jo Daviess, Carroll & Stephenson County i...
Some people have a backyard that is a sanctuary for relaxation and reflection … I’ve got a giant dog toilet that I have to mow. I think I might be living in the wrong neighborhood. As I was getting ready to go cut the grass, the Homeowners Association called to remind me there’s no shirtless lawnmowing for people past the age of 45. Of course we can afford it. A $500,000 house with a 30 year mortgage only costs 6 cents a minute. The key to home buying is location! You’ll need the money located in your savings account, you’ll need the money loc...
The Stephenson County Fair Association is excited to bring the Fair to Freeport on July 26-30, 2022. The grandstand events will include Tractor Pulls on Tuesday and Wednesday. Youth & Family night with scrambles and activities will be on Thursday. Friday night will be Bulls & Barrels, and the Demolition Derby is on Saturday. The Fair Association is adding many new free activities and events on the grounds for 2022. Be sure to watch their Facebook page for upcoming announcements. Vendor...
Whiteboards are remarkable. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain. You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, you lost a pigeon. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks … I didn’t want to interrupt her. People say I’m condescending … that means I talk down to people. My wife accused me of being immature, so I told her to get out of my fort. Wanna know how many Germans it takes to screw in a lightbulb? One, they’re very efficient ...
February is American Heart Month, and what better way to celebrate it than together as a family. American Heart Month brings awareness to heart health and inspires us to adopt healthy lifestyles to prevent heart disease. Symptoms of heart disease generally do not show up until a person reaches middle age and thus are commonly thought of as an issue only for older adults. However, research shows that fatty plaque buildup begins in childhood and progresses into adulthood. Therefore, to decrease the risk of developing heart disease, the American...
I told my date to text me when she got home … she must be homeless. The only thing I keep thinking of while looking at all of the online dating options is, “My God, I’m going to be single my entire life.” The only thing good about online dating is that I get to meet and break up with someone without ever leaving the house. Based on the content of your online dating profile, I’m guessing literacy is not one of the characteristics we share. If you’re afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping, you should try online dating. I w...
Now that the first snow of the season has arrived, the Jo Daviess Conservation Foundation (JDCF) invites the public to it's Valley of Eden Bird Sanctuary for cross country skiing and snowshoeing. This year, the trails are open thanks to all of the individuals and businesses that participated in the Uncorked Wine Pull Fundraiser held last month. We surpassed our goal and now have the needed equipment to maintain trails in the winter months. Valley of Eden features 3.5 miles of groomed trails...
Those 13 year old girls talking about “I Need a Man Who …” Stop it. You just need to do your homework. I did a push up today … well actually I fell down. But I had to use my arms to get back up, so … close enough. Now, I need chocolate. I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because nobody knew this level existed. Wow, our WIFI went down for five minutes the other day, so I had to speak to my family. They seem like nice people … who knew? A guy walks out of the bathroom and a cute girl says to him, “Sir, your garage door is open” … the...
After 48 weeks of drawings at The Iron Horse Tap in Lena, the Queen of Hearts was found in the Lena Sons of The American Legion Queen of Hearts Progressive Raffle. Brooke Olberding was the lucky name drawn and she chose number 41 on the board where the Queen was found hiding. With a total pot of $54,680, by being present, Brooke won 70% of the pot or $38,279 with Federal and state taxes still to be withdrawn. Brooke commented on her Facebook page, "A huge thank you to everyone who has been...
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. My New Year’s resolution is to lose just enough weight so my belly doesn’t jiggle when I brush my teeth. The end of the year is a good time to get rid of stuff. I started weeks ago by cleaning out my checking account. I hope you’re not too exhausted from your annual visit to the gym on New Year’s Day. I don’t know when or how alcoholic beverages became such a big part of New Year’s celebrations. But me likey! It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m filled wi...
Help FHS Thespians collect food donations for the Freeport Area Church Cooperative and ring in the Christmas season! FHS hosts Christmas Memories, a collection of humorous and heartwarming songs and stories. Guests should bring food donations for the Freeport Area Church Cooperative, which needs plenty of food to keep up with our community’s need for non-perishable food items. Directors Becky and Tim Connors describe Christmas Memories as “our homemade Christmas card for the community. Becky searches high and low for holiday stories that she...
I'm ready to start my Christmas shopping ... OK, who's got some money I can use? All I want for Christmas is a free refill of my wallet when I'm done shopping. I spend a lot of money Christmas shopping ... most of it on myself. I almost dropped BEFORE I shopped ... yep, I had to park two miles away from the mall. With all of the pushing and shoving to get this year's door busters, they should call it Black and Blue Friday. I always hang mistletoe in the same spot – the middle belt loop on the back of my jeans. I really hope you like the p...
Will you text your mom and ask how long it takes to microwave a 25 pound turkey? For once we're going to have a happy family Thanksgiving. I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac. He doesn't drink these days. Apparently, he's allergic to drugs and alcohol – he breaks out in handcuffs. You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" Well the small towns in the region are all putting up their Christmas decorations, and you know what that means ... Thanks g...
“The History of Christmas Trees” will be a special display in the Owen P. Miles Museum, Mt. Carroll during December 2021, sponsored by the Carroll County Historical Society. Decorated trees on display will feature ornaments from the late 1800s up to the 1960s. Also on loan will be a display of vintage Christmas cards and an historic “Old Country” vintage Nativity set. Step back in time and imagine one of these trees in your home as friends and family gather to celebrate Christmases in the past. Museum hours during December will be Saturda...
You mean Christian Bale is the name of a real person? I always thought that was what you called the people who left church early. School didn't work out for Johnny. The three things he learned were texting without looking; sleeping without getting caught, and team work on tests. I'm a very tolerant man ... except when it comes to holding a grudge. I don't always watch HGTV, but when I do, I want to slap every spoiled, picky home buyer I see. All these men bitching about wearing a face mask ... try wearing a bra for a week in August. Crazy peopl...
The Highland Gallery features work by current Highland Visual Arts faculty members from Monday, Nov. 8 through Friday, Dec. 3 at the Ferguson Fine Arts Center. This annual event shows recent works by faculty that are on display and available for contemplation, stimulation, and discussion as a featured exhibit for the Fall 2021 semester. This exhibit allows the community to observe Highland art faculty in their role as artists as opposed to the well-known role as faculty. “Faculty members of the Highland Visual Arts program are professional a...
The Highland Community College Big Band will take the stage beginning at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, November 19, in the Fine Arts Theatre at the Ferguson Fine Arts Center, 2998 W. Pearl City Rd., Freeport. Highland Big Band Director Bill Petersen and his ensemble will feature jazz selections from "I left My Heart In San Francisco," arranged by Quincy Jones for The Count Basie Orchestra; "All the Things You Are," arranged by Gerry Mulligan for The Stan Kenton Orchestra; "I'll Be Seeing You," arranged...
I'm not saying the girl is stupid, but when she was driving to Disneyland and saw the sign that said, "Disneyland Left" she turned around and went home. A commuter was driving to work when he got a call from his wife on his Bluetooth. "Be careful, honey," she said. "The radio said there's a manic driving on the wrong side of the freeway." "One maniac?" he replied. "There are thousands of them!" When people say, "You're going to regret that in the morning." I sleep until noon ... because I'm a problem solver. The bumper sticker on the car in...
The Highland Community College Concert Band and Orchestra will hold their fall concert at 7 p.m. Friday, November 12 in the Fine Arts Theatre in the Ferguson Fine Arts Center, 2998 W. Pearl City Rd., Freeport. "The Ensemble is excited to be back on stage and to create more musical moments for our audience,” said Scott Stich, Concert Band conductor. “We have missed performing for our audience. We hope that the variety of our music speaks to everyone who comes to hear us." Stich said, “Sedona” by Steven Reineke captures the natural landsca...
Ever have one of those moments when you realize, in the middle of driving, that you haven't been paying attention at all ... How am I alive? Who gave me a license? That man in the left lane looks like he is trying to pass me, so I better speed up to keep up with the flow of traffic. Oh my car can stop on a dime ... all it needs is a wall. Sunday is the "Let's drive as slowly as we can in the fast lane," day. While driving to work, robbers jumped into me car and stole everything. They were Pirates of the car I be in. With the rise in...
After almost two years without a theatrical performance in the Jeannette Lloyd Theatre, the Freeport High School Theatre Department is thrilled to announce its new production of Disney’s High School Musical, November 11, 12, and 13. This exuberant show is a great way to kick off the new FHS theatre season. High School Musical debuted on the Disney Channel in 2006, and it quickly became a favorite with young people across America. It’s the story of two East High juniors from rival cliques: Troy Bolton (the captain of the basketball team) and...
To say that High School Theater has been hit hard by COVID would be an understatement. Try showing facial expressions and character development while wearing a mask – let alone trying to allow hundreds of people to assemble as an audience. Our Theater Awards have been in hibernation, and their return is tenuous as we've also lost some judges due to Covid as well as life itself. Last year, there were some attempts to put on a show as Lena-Winslow did one that was televised – but the masks bei...
They might call the small candy "Fun Sized" but it takes three or four of them to get me mildly amused. Every Halloween I pretend to be the same thing ... not at home. I hope it's not too cold this Halloween. I'd hate to have the garden hose freeze before the trick or treaters show up. People who yell "Trick or Treat" are giving me one too many options. Nothing says Halloween like Christmas decorations. You know, some of the kids in my neighborhood actually look better in masks. What's the big...
Downtown Freeport Events and Greater Freeport Partnership welcome The Neverly Brothers to the Masonic Event Center Ballroom on Saturday, November 6. Guests should be ready to dance to the best in rock n' roll from Elvis to The Beatles with a band that brings old-school cool wherever they go playing tribute to some of rock's greatest stars. The concert is scheduled for November 6 in the Masonic Events Center's ballroom. Bringing the event to the ballroom invites guests to dance, enjoy drinks and...
Mighty Richland Players Dessert Theater, Polo Area Community Theater, and Morrison Music Theatre Association will be joining together for the first time ever to perform one big concert of Broadway music on November 12-14. Dylan Hinrichs is the musical director. They will be joining thousands of theatrical organizations around the world by producing their own local production of Music Theatre International’s All Together Now!: A Global Event Celebrating Local Theatre. MTI created this revue for theatres across the globe to use as a local f...
